Raised By Alpha
A tale of femininity
You don’t get a feminine woman because she decided to be so, or she bought a few courses off of instagram deranged western women, you get a feminine woman because she grew up with alpha.
I have never spoken openly about my grandpa, who to me was my as my father and a central character in my soul development, I never had the courage to write about him after his passing in 2020, because of how long it took me to heal and stand on my own two feet again. My grandpa was THAT central to me and I just know my children will have their father as the center of their soul because I know what to look for in a man for that eternal awe to happen.
So today I will tell you about him, a little, the good and bad, the times we agreed, argued and most importantly, what he taught me through turning down over 12 proposals (yes he did lol and every story is funnier than the other) that went through him - about the masculine standard.
Notice: I will not edit this text as I am writing while crying, so please read it as it is and excuse mistakes, consider them the artistic process of this open hearted piece.
I know many of you wonder how I ended up with my grandfather as my father figure:
My father is an engineer that quickly rose to power becoming one of the executives of a large national electricity company, he used to be handed projects around the country and had to move every few months to take care of business, my mother was raising me with a nanny in his absence and my grandfather who owned a massive 10 room Riad (because he had 10 children) that were all empty rooms as the adult children moved out - did not want me to grow up that way, he understood the importance of a father figure present in flesh during my critical first years of childhood, so we moved in with grandpa, and my mother, art and french professor, had been quiet about her reasons for deciding to never go back to my father but never spoke negatively of him.
All I knew was that here I was, with grandpa, the most respected man in our family, a man with a massive library, so tall you can’t miss him when he walked outside, an elegant gorgeous man from Fez, ex war general who fought the french occupation and killed a few french settlers, received a medal from his Majesty King Hassan 2 for it and later was handed a management role in the governmental agriculture field where he dealt with land and land owners, which was his joy.
Grandpa was the son of the wealthiest man from Fez, but his father died when he was only 14, leaving him and his 11 year old brother as orphans, by law they could not yet access their father’s wealth and land, which unfortunately was entirely stolen by their powerful uncle, who left only dust to him and his brother. My grandpa then left Fez and started working at 15 years old, recommended by a friend of his dad who felt saddened by the theft of their properties, he recommended him to someone high up in Marrakesh to take him and his brother in, their mother had died before their father so they had nobody.
Grandpa was already a man at 15, he worked, brought money home and took care of his little brother. He fed his brother, dressed him and made sure they were both saving enough money to buy land at 18 - which they did.
Grandpa used to tell me how soon as I moved in with him, money started flowing to him from every direction. Not only him took notice of that, apparently even his spiritual friends, my kinda jealous grandma (yes, really).
He used to tell everyone how he found a lucky charm in me and when I was a kid, he made me believe that if I dipped my finger in his morning coffee it becomes sweeter.
I believed that for a long time, until I woke up in my 20s as a young woman who speaks 5 languages fluently, writes poetry in 3 languages, a girl that got the attention of royals, I always was the trouble-free kid to grandpa, except I did not know I was not a kid anymore, he shielded us so much that we didn’t notice that we grew up, I only noticed when he mentioned to me that men started proposing to me through him, and that was the beginning of a changed dynamic between me and him.
The Men Rejected By Alpha:
My grandpa was conservative, not in the western way people use the term, no, truly.
All of my aunts are veiled, my mother too, not a single person in my family has ever dated, if you wanted to contact a woman, you had to go through grandpa for that.
My first ever flip phone was offered at me very late in life: at 22, most people don’t believe me when I say that, but try and find any post or presence of me online prior to that age, you won’t find any because I had no phone, my grandpa made sure that I spent enough years becoming extraordinary, undisturbed by digital life, and I guess it paid off and that’s perhaps why I do everything differently than others.
How did I contact people until then? I was too busy for that, but I had a landline phone so grandpa could also answer lol that’s how.
I also had my time filled with art, language classes, dance classes, massive libary full of books in science, art, theology…I was a thinker and would debate grandpa over things because we would read books together and he would expect me to debate him to prove I read the book before he would buy me the next batch.
My grandpa coming home from work was an event, we all dressed up for it, all the kids, my aunts when they visited, we were raised to respect his presence, the kids would kiss his hand one after another in line before he would sit at the dinner table, the lights had to be soft, food was warm, music was on, having grandpa at home was our daily event that we celebrated every single time, he brought a sense of peace and direction to our lives and he always gave everyone at the table time to share whatever was important to them, even toddlers. He didn’t care that the toddler was saying whatever, he wanted to hear us all out.
One day after one of the usual dinners, grandpa asked for me alone in his library room which felt like the official “family meetings” room.
I felt like a big deal going there as mom and grandma wondered why.
I sat at the desk and he smiled and said
“ Only a man of great luck can land you” (in arabic it sounded really strong and specific)
I had no idea what he meant, in my head, I was unaware that I entered my 20s and that proposals were happening behind the scenes.
Then he gave me 3 photographs of 3 boys, and asked
“which one would you like us to invite over to get to know?”
I said nobody and threw the photos away. I felt offended grandpa thought I was adult enough to be married. What the hell was marriage? I had no idea.
“I guess not these 3 then” - he then ended the family meeting and I ran out to my room and felt proud that the first 3 got rejected and I got saved.
Grandpa soon understood this was going to be a hell of a ride for me to get impressed by anyone.
In one proposal, a man from Iraq (which if you know anything about, that’s the cradle of Alpha) had sent his proposal to grandpa, he was from a military family like grandpa’s so he liked him.
That man and his family traveled so many times to Morocco to meet grandpa, their son saw me only once in the presence of grandpa and then started sending me letters to win me over. A strategy that grandpa liked, since it was not pushy.
Grandpa had read every letter,
one time he opened one and laughed and said to me “we will disqualify the Iraqi.”
I asked why, then he showed me a letter than said this:
“ If the Iraqi tribes of the south knew about your beauty they would start walking north to you”
then grandpa added : “not only this is bad poetry, but a man who has enough feminine energy to write poetry is a hard pass, never fall for this, a real man will not have the right words, in fact, a real man who feels something real for you, might just be at loss of words, trying to adjust to the feeling, this guy is a feminine guy and you won’t do well with that”
I agreed, so grandpa packed the last gifts from the Iraqi official and sent them all the way back to Basra - Iraq.
Grandpa then got very good at turning down men, the meetings in his library room with me were more frequent as he explained to me everytime why we were precisely saying no.
He turned down french men from my childhood school, moroccan men who acted like the french, Saudi men with oil companies who wanted me to wear a Burqa, American men from my government days at the United Nations…and a jewish Duke who literally converted to Islam to impress grandpa, changed his name from Gabriel to Muhammad, this guy has learned by heart some of the Quran in arabic language and recited it in front of grandpa. So he had a real chance.
Grandpa asked me to then consider Duke Gabriel a little more seriously. After turning down nearly 12 men, I thought, hey, let’s see.
I almost said yes, but it felt wrong in my body, there was nothing in me that craved the guy or marriage to begin with.
One day, I asked grandpa to take me to his land so we could talk away from the family.
Then I asked him
“when does a woman KNOW it’s the one?”
he replied
“when their presence overshadows mine, that’s how you know. Your mother left your father because he could not do that. A real man makes a woman feel contained, like your grandma, she does not need anyone but me, that’s the feeling. You won’t need me then. He will hopefully take my place and own it, but if he does not contain your soul, just know you don’t need him.”
But that means it was none of these guys, because I ran back to grandpa everytime.
“Only A Man Of Great Luck Will Have You
لا ينالك إلا ذو حظ عظيم”
if today I am able to work closely with royals, celebrities, billionaires and high achievers, men and women alike - and help them with their inner world, identity and immaterial wealth mastery - it is because I grew up with a real man figure in my life, of course my mother’s role was essential, but his presence defined what Alpha meant, and I only realize now how rare and scarce that is in the world.
Some lessons I learned about Alpha from grandpa:
Alpha men are the table, but the table needs soul, company and loyalty:
While in many broken masculine models, men vet women by financial warranty and “what do you bring to the table” red pill podcaster bro mentality, real men ARE the table itself: grandpa has been married for OVER 65 years. (married at 25, lived to over 92). My grandma has not contributed a penny during these 65 years of his life. He also paid her for breastfeeding every child because he valued that as “labor” and made us all aware of the hidden financial value of feminine contributions that are not visible in society.
What my grandpa knew was that money will always follow character, but the opposite is not guaranteed. He doubled down on his character development, won the trust of his late father’s wealthy circles to do business with and built a large family of 10 kids and a DOZEN grandchildren
What men like grandpa are good at scanning a woman for is immaterial wealth traits that filled the - otherwise meaningless - table they’ve built: loyalty, feminine energy, wisdom, art, perspective, ability to grow/learn, a woman to an alpha man is the immediate environment of his soul.
He lived by “fuck around the find out”, as in: he was the most peace, safe man to deal with in business and life, until you backstab him, then you’ll learn some timeless lessons. His force was never used unless absolutely necessary and his generosity was never weaponized by his children or grandchildren because we grew up respecting him, not using him - something I do not see in my wealthy clients lives.
When one of his sons got a divorce, I remember how he invited him and told him one thing before making it legally final “just know final means final, the next woman will not have to hear or deal with your past, if you think that will be the case, you’re not divorced, you’re a spare husband post-divorce”. So my uncle was able to rebuild his life truly, because he knew what it meant to free himself and walk into a new chapter without making anyone else pay for it. Again, something I see rarely among my (fe)male clients, who received and paid their dues, yet are carrying the ex on their back onto every other milestone, dooming themselves for failure.
Gandpa freed us from “survival mindset”, because of that, I could get interested in topics like this one, I could cultivate art, beauty, hobbies that only the 1% have, most women are not talented nor inspirational, they are basicas at best. Grandpa knew that an exceptional woman would never attract a man worried about “ a table”, but rather, a man that wants his world to light up, his soul to light up, his heart and body to reach SUKUN, a philosophy I witnessed as a lucky child and cultivated consciously in my habits and ways of being. I had friends whose parents came from the old circles of grandpa’s dynasty family before he lost his wealth, and all of them had money, but few of them had character, few of them you’d want to sit with much less live with. So we understood that he built the foundations of generational wealth through character, the ultimate luxury asset.
Time and aging : this will sound interesting to a few, but grandpa taught us to not celebrate birthdays as they were a western invention meant to age you, because you lived by a linear age, when truly, in his generation, people lived by biological age: you are the exact age you look like on the outside. If you are 20 and are exhausted, wrinkly and F’ed up, you probably rank as a very poor quality 50. If you were 50 and looked 30, you probably are 30. Science has caught up to this, with Oprah now pushing people to check their biological age, which is far more accurate than how many years you have existed on earth.
Leave space for the masculine to fill: Despite grandpa’s capacity to make us feel totally contained, he also knew how to leave space for improvement that could only by filled by another masculine in our lives. We did not aim for “knowing it all” as the western model imposes: at 15 they are already over-sexed, they over partied, they behave like a woman in her 50s as early as 20, to us this does not register as “great life training”, but as “breaking innocence too soon, the wrong way through the wrong means”. Grandpa helped us all in character development, but also left gaps in it for a husband to fill: he always would say to me “ I aim to be your father figure, not a surrogate husband” and that is so true in western world especially, with Trump-Ivanka creepy dynamics and overlapping of fatherhood with “only sex is missing for us to be married” kind of twisted “parenting”. An experiment grandpa would do for example was, during the time Duke Gabriel proposed to me, I was dressed minus jewelry. Gabriel caught that immediately and as early as his second meeting with grandpa, he offered jewelery and said he noticed I wasn’t wearing any and wanted to complete my look. Since then, I had never shown up to a date '“complete”, but instead, with many “gaps” grandpa taught me to watch if a man has the intuition to fill: real men are always looking for a gap to fill, both figuratively and literally (sexually) if you know what I mean! LOL those gaps can also be intellectual or behavior, in any case, a real man will not feel good until he fills them.
Effort wins: grandpa’s traditional gift to any of the ladies in the family was handmade jewlery, he had learned many crafts as a kid and was fascinated by Fez craftmanship - which was the source of wealth of his father’s lineage - so he could create a gorgeous bracelet, necklace, crowns with real crystals, gold, silver…and it would take him weeks, some months, and the most extraordinary grandchild AKA yours truly, would get the bracelet that took him the longest to make. “buying is cheap, my time isn’t” he would say. So we learned this: the essential gifts are sacrifice of something, time or effort, otherwise, they are cheap no matter how expensive.
A woman is the rose of the household, a man is the household: While now we live in the best-worst of times, “love yourself” gurus going all in on their self love 7 figure mentorships and Hollyweird spending billions to convince you in movies that men are useless, deranged and that women can grow underarm hair and that is freedom - we forgot that truly, a man is the household itself.
This is why grandpa had left me with a deep imprint, before he passed away he was aware I was in love with someone he had not met, but he would say to me “I know you can live anywhere, but I hope you only decide to leave Morocco if you found your household (meaning masculine) outside of it, until then, i left 5 walls (uncles) that are all your household and my energy around you, I hope you remain the rose inside those walls”.
I do admit that I am not one for “girls only” travel, we grew up needing men, wanting men around, not even traveling without our men, be it our fathers or brothers or uncles, I choose to remain where the walls are solid around me, because there my only job is to bloom. I wouldn’t be the artist, 7-figure international figure I am today if I was country-hopping for the sake of a vanity home address that suits the modern man’s perception. I was offered to live literally anywhere, and I chose to stay near the masculine, and if I ever leave, it would be to bloom inside stronger walls, happily contained, you might see it as “restriction” if you are used to women “jumping on opportunities”, but we did not grow up with that kind of material hunger, we grew up watered, protected and we simply aim to continue to bloom - which absolutely needs and honors the men’s job in our lives.
(to be continued)